So I am taking the class myself this September, although I can think of lots of reasons
Mostly that once I get home from work I would rather not go out again. I’d rather climb into my jammies, feed my kids, and then send us all to bed. Really, I am just tired and don’t have a lot of energy. I tell myself that perhaps I just need more sleep, until I realize I don’t want to even call a friend to go for a walk. Depression is very sneaky.
“I am not depressed,” but there are other words for the withdrawal symptoms we can all feel. After all, we are human. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Exhausted. Sad. Unmotivated. Lonely. Feelings are normal, even negative ones. Life has a lot of up and downs, and apparently, that’s what keeps it interesting. Though when it gets too much, taking a step back momentarily is not a bad thing.
I have allowed myself some time to do just that, step back and take some time to feel things, these last two months. A little bit, at least. My sister passed away in July, and I have
given myself time to grieve. However, I have also promised myself to watch my feeling meter.
So, although I do not FEEL like going out, I know that come September I will need to do a few things so that I don’t become stuck in a routine that excludes me from the world and keeps me isolated.
- Detachment from life and the people around you
- Feelings of despair and hopelessness
- Always feeling tired or having no energy
- Crying for no apparent reason
- Not being able to concentrate or make decisions
- Thoughts of suicide
- A loss of appetite or a change in sleep patterns
- Headaches or stomach upsets that occur frequently.
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Seeing others reminds me I am not alone. I hope by sharing my own small struggles it helps others feel not so isolated. When we share our stories we take out the fear of our feelings so they dont take over.
I am very grateful for all of my friends who check in with me and make sure that, "Yep! I am still okay." So, yes I am back to work. I have tentatively agreed to attend Yoga. I even walked up to Art Beat last night with the kids. Although I wasn’t ready to get up and hula hoop or dance with you, Phil or Patti, maybe next time. Maybe I just need a new pair of shoes.